Not for a Moment

"Tears are falling, hearts are breaking, how we need to hear from God. You've been promised, we've been waiting. Welcome Holy Child. Welcome Holy Child."

My heart is heavy today as I think of all the families and people in Connecticut.  And thinking of them daily trying to sort through this terrible nightmare.  

And then my thoughts have been consumed with the events of this last year.

It has been a rough year and a year filled with heart ache for so many of our friends and family.

This year I watched a best friend go through finding out her mom has breast cancer, and then surgery and treatments.

Another good friend find out her dad has advanced brain cancer. 

I've experienced Chris and I's immediate family lose 3 grandparents. 

Chris and I have gone through so many hard trials through our infertility journey.  

My sister was diagnosed with Lyme's disease and was really sick for many months. 

This last year I've watched a good friend lose her dad suddenly. 

Another close friend go through a tragic and painful loss of her baby far along in her pregnancy.

It's crazy to me how Chris and I had been married for over six years and had really dealt with no major heartbreaks or trials like this.   And then looking back on this last year it feels like they kept on coming.  This year I've watched my friends grieve things that I feel should not happen to anyone.  

Sometimes it is hard to not walk around thinking about how sad and hard life is.  And how so many people are hurting.  And that sometimes life seems unfair.  I know it's hard for some to question where God is in all of this and how this can all be part of His plan. 

We sang this song in church on Sunday and I've been listening to it and reading the words over and over.  

Clinging to the truth that God will never forsake us.

You were reaching through the storm, walking on the water,
Even when I could not see.
In the middle of it all, when I thought you were a thousand miles away.
Not for a moment, did You forsake me.

After all, You are constant.
After all, You are only good.
After all, You are sovereign.
Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

You were singing in the dark, whispering Your promise.
Even when I could not hear.
I was held in Your arms, carried for a thousand miles to show,
Not for a moment did You forsake me.

And every step, every breath You are there.
Every tear, every cry, every breath.
In my hurt, at my worst, when my world falls down.
Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

Even in the dark, even when it’s hard
You will never leave me
After all

After all, You are constant.
After all, You are only good.
After all, You are sovereign.
Not for a moment, will You forsake me.
Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

The world is full of terrible things.  Hard trials.  Unbearable pain. 

But God is present and is there. 

I know that there are seasons in your life.

Seasons of joy and happiness and seasons of pain and heartbreak.

I'm thankful for such a long season of joy that Chris and I have had for most our marriage and am excited for that to happen again because I know it will.  

And I know it will for my friends that are hurting.  And for the people in Connecticut.   

We can't understand why things like this happen and that's where faith comes in.
Faith in a God that has a plan.
In a Heaven that is free from pain.
And in a God that will never forsake us.  Not for a moment.

*Thank you Cassidy for letting me share your beautiful voice.  I've listened to you sing it countless times in the last few days.