The other day I found out that two more of my friends are pregnant.
Two of my friends just had babies, and I was envious of them when I found out they were pregnant.
Two of my friends just had babies, and I was envious of them when I found out they were pregnant.
Sometimes I even have a hard time looking at a complete stranger who is pregnant without wishing that it was me.
and I hate that I feel that way.
This last weekend Chris and I got to get away for a night and I was realizing how happy I am when it is just me and him. When I remove us from everything around us I feel happier and more content with where God has us in life.
Sometimes I think life would be easier if it were just the two of us, and I wasn't comparing my life to anyone else. I find myself basing my happiness on what I lack or where my life is not, compared to those around me.
Even if there was no one else around us, I still desperately want a baby. BUT it definitely makes it harder when I see everyone else getting what I so badly want.
And this comparing and jealousy goes into other areas of life too.
I absolutely love my house and wouldn't want to live anywhere else.
But when I see the prices and sizes of houses selling now I am often jealous.
But when I see the prices and sizes of houses selling now I am often jealous.
I'm happy and proud of my abilities to do certain things, like running, teaching or even writing this blog.
But when I compare myself to others that do it better, I can get jealous.
I was listening to this song by the Avett Brothers and while I think he's referring to greed with material possessions, I related it to my situation.
(listen to the song here)
I am sick with wantingAnd it's evil and it's dauntingHow I let everything I cherish lay to waste
I am sick with wantingAnd it's evil how it's got meAnd everyday is worse than the one beforeThe more I have the more I think:I'm almost where I need to beIf only I could get a little more
I need for somethingNow let me break it down again
Something has me Oh something has me Acting like someone I don't wanna be.
But when I compare myself to others that do it better, I can get jealous.
I was listening to this song by the Avett Brothers and while I think he's referring to greed with material possessions, I related it to my situation.
(listen to the song here)
I am sick with wantingAnd it's evil and it's dauntingHow I let everything I cherish lay to waste
I am sick with wantingAnd it's evil how it's got meAnd everyday is worse than the one beforeThe more I have the more I think:I'm almost where I need to beIf only I could get a little more
I need for somethingNow let me break it down again
Something has me Oh something has me Acting like someone I don't wanna be.
God has given me countless blessings.
And I want a heart free of jealousy and envy.
I want to be more content with exactly the place in life where God has put me. While I fail over and over at this, I know that God is working in my heart to trust that He knows what is best for me.
" . . . for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." (Phil. 4:11)
And I want a heart free of jealousy and envy.
I want to be more content with exactly the place in life where God has put me. While I fail over and over at this, I know that God is working in my heart to trust that He knows what is best for me.
" . . . for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." (Phil. 4:11)
