I found out some disappointing news on Friday. My first round of fertility treatments did not end as planned and I have to start over and try again in a few weeks. I'm sad and disappointed. Friday morning, before I found out, I was driving to the dr.'s office early before school and I was feeling frustrated with the whole situation - the time commitment and the emotional toll in particular.
In the hopes of improving my attitude, I started thinking of the things that I am grateful for through this situation and how God has used this trial. Finding joy in times of trials sometimes takes some searching! But I soon thought of many things, and I'm glad those we're all in my mind as I have needed to think of them often these last few days.
1. Our marriage - I'm reminded all the time throughout this year how lucky I am to be married to Chris. He has been understanding, sympathetic and encouraging through all of this. We've become closer and our marriage is stronger. I know that this will make us better parents when we do have kids.
2. Insurance - I can't imagine the burden I'd feel if we didn't have insurance. My insurance through work is wonderful and I don't how we could do this, without it.
3. My family & friends - I feel blessed to be surrounded by people who love me, pray for me and listen to me. Sometimes I feel like I am a broken record because for the last year I've been dealing with and struggling with the same thing. I appreciate the constant reassurance that they always want to hear how I'm doing and how I feel.
4. Patience - While this is something I'm definitely still learning, God is teaching me to wait patiently for His perfect timing. I remember in high school my youth pastor's wife would always tell me not to pray for patience because God would surely teach it to me! While I don't recall praying specifically for patience before all this, I think it was time that I started learning it.
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I made this painting awhile ago and look at it every morning in my bathroom.
It is a great reminder to be joyful and thankful for all the things God has given me.
I read this verse today and I love the comfort that comes with it.
Psalm 61:2 From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed.
Lead me to the towering rock of safety.
My hear is overwhelmed, but I know God is good and has a perfect plan for us.
awe :( That can be hard... I'm sorry to hear that, praying for you girlfran!
ReplyDeletekeep you head and spirits up friend. I just know God had the perfect little baby in store for your family - you guys are going to be amazing parents. it will happen!
ReplyDeleteLove your blog and will be praying for you. God will deliver that perfect little baby in His perfect timing. Its so great to hear how much you are learning through this. Your faith in amazing:)
ReplyDelete- nichole
http://andwhatcouldstandagainst.blogspot.com/
Amen sister! Praying for you through this! As you said, God has a plan and it is always for good!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this. Your faith is amazing. You ate so fortunate to have a strong support system! I'll be praying for you!
ReplyDeletePraying for you and your husband. I can't even imagine how this must feel, but I am so glad that you are confident enough with how things will turn out.
ReplyDeletekeeping you in my thoughts and prayers! you are an amazingly strong woman, and will be an incredible mom when the time comes :)
ReplyDeleteOh Katie I'm so sorry to hear this. I know how hard the process is since my sister has been doing it for four years now. I can't even imagine. (And one day I may have to) I'm here for you if you need me! And I'm still praying for you.
ReplyDeleteMay God give you peace as you wait. Thanks for sharing your gratefulness in the midst of disappointment. Gail
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, girl. Rest assured, God does have a plan!
ReplyDeleteoh katie... so sorry for the recent bump in the road. your attitude about it all is so encouraging. my mom just emailed me a verse today to encourage me in my own period of waiting... thought i would pass it on to you...
ReplyDelete"I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" Psalm 27:13-14
My sister-in-law went through this same thing for over a year. She is now pregnant with her second child. Take heart that God hears your prayers and will work in His perfect timing! I can't relate to what you're going through right now b/c my husband and I aren't in that stage yet. I can imagine, though, how hard it would be! God will bless your thankful heart and attitude!
ReplyDeleteLately, I've also been feeling like I'm lacking and then remembering to be grateful for what I have. It's up and down and up and down. I'm glad you're choosing to feel grateful!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your pain. May your strength be renewed as you wait upon the Lord. Praying for you tonight!
ReplyDeleteHi Katie,
ReplyDeleteI can't believe this is the first time I'm visiting your blog, but I'm so glad that I found it through your comment on mine! This post is just so amazing. I can't imagine what I would be feeling if I were in your shoes, but I no that children are such a blessing and pregnancy is a total miracle! I really hope your fertility treatments work next time, but if God makes you wait longer, I'm glad to hear that you are choosing to have a positive attitude. You're awesome for choosing joy in a situation where most people would choose anxiety/depression/etc.
Keep your head up!
-Sarah
Praying for you sweety.
ReplyDeleteAw Katie - sorry to hear that...but it sounds like you are doing a great job staying positive, hard as it is...so keep it up :)
ReplyDeleteAnnie
The Other Side of Gray
Sorry to hear you're going through this Katie! It seems like you have a really good attitude about it though which is so important!
ReplyDelete-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry that it didn't work out this time. You're doing such a good thing by focusing on the things that you are grateful for though. Said a little prayer for you.
ReplyDeletepraying for you today. i love that painting you did! so beautiful and such a wonderful reminder.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your fertility treatment. I love and appreciate that you go to God and look to the things you are grateful for at this time. He blesses it in ways we can't even understand or imagine. Prayers going out to you!
ReplyDeleteJenn
passengerseatperspectives.blogspot.com
I'm so sorry to hear the first round didn't work. I'm praying as I write that God will grant success this next time. I pray you can keep choosing joy. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteHello! I'm visiting from Life of Meg's Mingle Monday. I love the idea of sharing what you wear each day...what a great way to stay in touch with loved ones! I enjoyed exploring your blog and will definitely try making myself an infinity scarf.
ReplyDeleteOmg girl...I'm so sorry that you have to start all over again. My soon to be sis in law tried everything for 4 years. They finally decided to take a break from it all and when they stopped trying...they had their first son...they now have two boys. You will get thru this! I absolutely love the sign you made. :-) and I love your outfit of course :-)
ReplyDeleteXoxo
Oh my word I am loving this outfit! xo
ReplyDeleteI'm a usual reader of your blog I just don't really comment. I feel led to comment today. God is with you! Your painting is sooo pretty and the scripture you shared was much needed. Have a blessed day girl:)
ReplyDeletethanks for linking this up with thankful thursday this week... i know i've already commented... but i am praying for you and your husband... that the Lord would bless you with a child... and that He would continue to teach you and grow you in the waiting.
ReplyDelete:( so sorry to hear that, but your attitude is amazing. Choose joy always! <3
ReplyDeleteI love your outfit and I love your painting! praying for you sweet friend!!! Trust in HIM and everything will work out! <3 <3
ReplyDeleteAndrea
I cannot even begin to understand infertility and how discouraging it must be. I am praying that you will have a better go next time. I'm sorry that you had a rough day, but it's incredible that you are able to see the positives in light of being upset.
ReplyDeletelove you girl.
ReplyDeleteand love that painting. so much true in those few words.
praying for you.
xo
Hey there, stopping by from Mingle Monday. Just wanted you to know that I truly feel for your fertility struggle. I had a miscarriage last month and it has been an emotional roller coaster. Love the verse that you posted...you and your husband our in our prayers!
ReplyDelete