Half Way

top: shade clothing    scarf: gap    pants: target   boots: dsw

It's hard to believe that we are half way through!  I am enjoying being pregnant SO much more the last few weeks than the beginning.  Due to our complications at the start, lots of nauseousness, and unfortunately letting fear control a lot of my daily feelings, I can't say that I have loved being pregnant.  While I daily woke up and thanked God for this miracle it was a struggle for me to feel at peace and trust that everything was going to work out.  

Looking forward to: 

*Finding out and sharing our baby's gender with our families and friends! (and of course all of you)

*Feelings lots more baby kicks.  The past week I have loved every single little movement and am blown away that there is a real baby in there moving all around! 

*Working on a baby name.  We have a few of each that we love. I don't know how you actually pick one!

*Starting baby's nursery.  Of course I have ideas, and have for quite awhile.  I can't wait to start buying and making things! 

I'm thankful that I've taken weekly pictures, as it's fun to see this belly grow over time!

Here's a look at weeks 13 - 20. 

Hope you are having a good week! 

Linking up to: style sessions

Feeling . . .

proud for finding these leggings for $2 at Jcpenney. 

tunic: old navy maternity   leggings: jcpenney   boots: kohls  scarf: discovery 

thankful for a date night on Friday.  Old movie theatre, $5 tickets for Silver Linings Playbook, and delicious sandwiches while we watched.  

excited for our 20 week ultrasound this week to find out if our little baby is a boy or a girl!
anxious for our appointment to see if everything is healthy with our baby. 

annoyed that these boots slide down and never stay straight up when I wear them.  

confused as to why I ever paint my nails because they look like this the day after. 

happy that it is almost March!  Which means my February giveaway is almost over and I have a few large and medium ad spaces open for March.  Check out details here!

A New Attitude

A part of me was hesitant to share this post, as I don't want to appear at ALL ungrateful or not thankful for this miracle that I have been given.  But I want to be truthful with how I've been feeling, and hope that sharing this will help me follow through.

There is still part of me that is scared.  Scared that something will go wrong.  

Scared that I won't be holding my baby in July.

The truth is that I have been continuing to give into my fears, failing to surrender and failing to embrace and enjoy this pregnancy.

I think a part of me felt that if I didn't take weekly belly pictures at the beginning, talk to my baby, buy maternity clothes, or didn't spend all day thinking about how excited I am to be a mom, then I wouldn't be as devastated if something went wrong.

But I know that no matter what I did or didn't do, I would be devastated if something happened to our baby.

A few people gave me the advice to not wish away the beginning of pregnancy or have it be consumed with fear and worries.  And I believed that advice and tried to live it, but failed quite miserably the first three months. Failed to live in constant excitement for our soon to be family of three.  And failed to dream of our future and our baby.

So many days, especially a day when I have cramps or some other pain that makes me nervous, I just wish I could see into the future and see myself holding my baby.  I wish I could know for sure what our life would look like and how healthy my baby will be.

But I know that if I could do that, then I wouldn't have the need to daily ask God for protection over my baby, and for comfort for my fears.  I wouldn't be putting things in his hands.

So today I am embracing everything about this baby.  Belly updates.  Nursery dreams.  Baby crafts.  

and embracing everything about this pregnancy.  

And this miracle that I've been given.