There was a stream of terribly sad news every day for many days straight.
Chris' grandpa passed away, which meant that Chris and I have lost three grandpas in the last five months.
I found out that a student of mine's mom lost her battle with cancer last weekend.
A close friend of mine's dad passed away unexpectantly.
All in one week.
All in one week.
And on the day of Chris' grandpa's funeral I found out that our last round of fertility treatments was unsuccessful and I am not pregnant. Our doctor wants us to move ahead to the next phase of fertility treatments, which although it means a higher success rate, it is more intense and it one of the final stages of fertility treatment. While hopeful, I'm also scared, nervous and overwhelmed.
After all this news I was struggling to feel hopeful. I was frustrated and confused why God allows all these things to be happening to us, and those we love around us. I trust that God has a perfect plan for everything, but was struggling to see it. How can he allow all these terrible things to be happening at one time?
And for all these people around me to be hurting?
And for all these people around me to be hurting?
On the night we found out we weren't pregnant, we were exhausted from the days events and I was feeling emotional, frustrated and overwhelmed. Before I went to bed Chris read me Lamentations chapter 3.
For the first 18 verses Jeremiah talks about how much pain and affliction he's been through.
It's this terrible picture of sorrow and abandonment that he felt.
Through tears from both of us, he read these verses
and I felt hopeful for us and those around us:
and I felt hopeful for us and those around us:
I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope.
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
Lamentations 3: 19 - 26
I want to wait quietly and patiently for the Lord.
and so we will continue to lift up our same prayer requests night after night,
for I know that my hope is in the Lord and that He is faithful.
amen sister :)
ReplyDeletePraying for you pretty girl. I'm so sorry about all the struggles in your life right now :( doesn't seem fair at all...but you're so wise to put your faith and trust in God.
ReplyDeleteI really love that dress!! And the denim shirt is perfect over it :)
What a beautiful testimony, thank you for sharing that. God is our healer, our portion, and the hand to hold us up in times of trouble and heartache. Praying for you this week :)
ReplyDeleteYou inspire me, my dear Katie. I love you!
ReplyDeleteSaying a pray for you now, my heart aches at hearing all the sad news you have had to endure in such a short time. God's word is strength giving and I have leaned on that portion of scripture many times - believing that God will give you strength and peace.
ReplyDeleteHugs to your family. :(
ReplyDeletekeep your faith in the Lord and he will guide and comfort you in any situation! :)
ReplyDeleteandrea brionne
www.thedailyeverythings.blogspot.com
Sorry sorry to hear about all your struggles, but what an uplighting verse your husband found. Praying that things start looking up!
ReplyDeletethey say, 'when it rains, it pours.' I'm so sorry for all of your loss and struggles. My prayers are with you and your family, and I wish you all the best!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Kara
Im sorry to hear all your sad news :( I will be praying that this next round of fertility will end with good news!! :) Good luck to the 2 of you :)
ReplyDelete-barbie
My heart just breaks for you. Although I can't relate with the infertility but I have had weeks where my life and circumstances felt completely hopeless. I have to constantly give my dreams and everything I want back to God, trust in His plan and allow Him to comfort me. Prayers are with you sweet friend. Although there aren't words to say for heartache and unanswered prayers that could offer you comfort but continue to seek Him even when you don't want to because He wants to comfort you. XOX
ReplyDeleteAw Katie, sorry to hear about all the bad news. Life can be so tough sometimes, but your faith is really inspiring and will get you through :)
ReplyDeleteAnnie
I'm sorry to hear about all the bad things that are happening in your life, Katie. Keeping you in my thoughts for your next round of fertility treatments...fingers crossed!
ReplyDelete-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
Thank you for this post. This scripture was exactly what I needed to hear and I didn't even know it until I read it. I am truly sorry for the heartache you have been experiencing and I will be in prayer for you for healing and waiting of God's timing. Just please know that although things are tough that your transparency and openness has helped me and I am sure many more who are waiting on the Lord. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYou're such a inspiration, girl!
ReplyDeleteYour faith will take you where you need to go :)
Praying for you!
xo
Aww love the verses that he read to you! So sweet & refreshing. Praying for you, & the families who lost love ones!
ReplyDeleteJust found you through one of the What I Wore Linky's and just wanted to say I'll be praying for you. I never had to go through the fertility treatments, but I did have to wait many years before we could have out little guy. Just wanted to say I understand. Trust in God's timing, it is always perfect!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear of so many loses in one week too.
Oh Katie. I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the strain that is on you right now. But you're totally right, God is in control and has a plan and it's GOOD, no, GREAT one. One of my favorite verses says, "God will outdo himself in making things go well for you." Outdo HIMSELF. How crazy is that? You have a beautiful and bright future agead of you my dear :)
ReplyDeleteI'm terribly sorry for your loss and for the loss of your loved ones. God does have a plan for us - and like my husband always reminds me, while it may not be the way we think it will work out, God's plan always works out.
ReplyDeleteSaying prayers during this time of loss. I have a friend that went through infertility treatments also. I know it was very hard on her but I am happy to say she is 24 weeks pregnant now. Keep praying and everything will work out :)
ReplyDeletePraying for you friend! You're such an inspiration and encouragement to so many. I can't believe I keep forgetting to read your blog - Chris just reminded me and I could sit here reading all day! Keep pressing into the Lord... lifting your heavy heart up! Love you, see you tonight!
ReplyDeleteyou are such an encouragement to other women out there! And it says so much about your strength that you are able to praise God though it all! Even Job was angry, hurt, and alone…and yet never sinned in His anger! You are as strong as him! Keep up your faithfulness, it is God's desire to bless you!
ReplyDeletei'm so sorry. i just love those verses! i'm learning what it looks like to wait on the lord, too. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about all of your sadness! So glad that we can trust in HIM during our tough times.
ReplyDelete((hugs)) ~Lisa @ OC
You look beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you posted those scriptures. I need to remember that. Lately I've just been getting overwhelmed with the pressure of this world. At times things get challenging. Sometimes we wanna call it quits. We feel like we aren't making a difference. It's annoying that some things aren't in our control.
But guess what? They are in the control and in the hands of someone much better, much safer, and with more forgiveness, love, and compassion then we could ever have. Jesus.
I am so sorry for all the hard things you are going through right now. How comforting it is that you and Chris can rely on God together through this. God will reward your faithfulness! I'm also sure that your marriage will be strengthened through this, even though it is so, so hard. I'll be praying for you this week.
ReplyDeleteI love you and will keep on continuing to pray. Love Love
ReplyDeleteKeeping you and your family in our prayers. I know what it's like to desperately want that sweet baby and to deal with tragic losses too (this year has been a rough one). But always remember that God does have a plan...and that better things are in your future!
ReplyDeleteKatie, thank you so much for this post today. I'm feeling much the same. Will be reading Lamentations now.
ReplyDeleteyour faith is so inspirational. <3
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful post. So sorry to hear about all of the sad news that you received this week, but praying that the Lord will bless you with good news in His perfect time.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear of all your losses. What a tough time. I just found your blog from the Sasse life. This post was the first one I read and I'm sitting here in tears. I too am going through fertility treatments. I'll know in the next 3 days if this month (month 22) has worked. Its so stressful and overwhelming to not be able to just get pregnant like everyone else seems to. Just know you aren't alone.
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you, but you've got it right!! Your faith is inspiring. Thank you for sharing it and linking up to The Foley Fam blog :) I appreciate it friend!
ReplyDelete