A New Attitude

A part of me was hesitant to share this post, as I don't want to appear at ALL ungrateful or not thankful for this miracle that I have been given.  But I want to be truthful with how I've been feeling, and hope that sharing this will help me follow through.

There is still part of me that is scared.  Scared that something will go wrong.  

Scared that I won't be holding my baby in July.

The truth is that I have been continuing to give into my fears, failing to surrender and failing to embrace and enjoy this pregnancy.

I think a part of me felt that if I didn't take weekly belly pictures at the beginning, talk to my baby, buy maternity clothes, or didn't spend all day thinking about how excited I am to be a mom, then I wouldn't be as devastated if something went wrong.

But I know that no matter what I did or didn't do, I would be devastated if something happened to our baby.

A few people gave me the advice to not wish away the beginning of pregnancy or have it be consumed with fear and worries.  And I believed that advice and tried to live it, but failed quite miserably the first three months. Failed to live in constant excitement for our soon to be family of three.  And failed to dream of our future and our baby.

So many days, especially a day when I have cramps or some other pain that makes me nervous, I just wish I could see into the future and see myself holding my baby.  I wish I could know for sure what our life would look like and how healthy my baby will be.

But I know that if I could do that, then I wouldn't have the need to daily ask God for protection over my baby, and for comfort for my fears.  I wouldn't be putting things in his hands.

So today I am embracing everything about this baby.  Belly updates.  Nursery dreams.  Baby crafts.  

and embracing everything about this pregnancy.  

And this miracle that I've been given. 

Hello Monday

Hello Monday.  I like you so much better when you don't involve going to work.

dress: Steve & Barry's   tights: kohls (?)  boots: dsw  bow necklace: ebay

Hello 9 degree weather.  I didn't even think about taking a picture outside today.

Hello new blog design.  I love you.  Thank you Aubrey!

Hello waving baby.  When I look at your picture you make my heart happier than it's ever been.

Hello candy hearts.  I like you even more as a pregnant lady.

Hello parenthood.  Thanks for airing an episode last week that didn't make me cry.  I wonder how sad you will be this week.

   

Hello beautiful ladies that you need to meet.

First meet Montana from Sara Montana Says

I've never met Montana in real life, but sure wish I could because I know we would be friends.  Montana is a blogger that is so easy to connect and relate to, as she shares her life on her blog.  I was especially proud when she started doing outfit posts because she is absolutely adorable.  Montana is also super talented and recently opened her shop where she sells beautiful pillows, like this one, which is my current favorite.

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Next met Whitney from Keeping up with the Cyperts.

I've known Whitney since I first started blogging and I love keeping up on her life, whether it's through Sunday confessions or stories about life as a wife.  Whitney also shares some amazing looking recipes, like these delicious looking s'more bars.  Not only does she share recipes that I could and would actually make, she shares her craftiness as well.

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Finally, met Erin from Read Eat Create.

Erin's blog name gives you a pretty good idea what you're going to find on her blog, and they are all things that I love.  I'll be honest, my favorite one of those would be eating, and Erin's blog is full of delicious recipes for you to try.   Erin also has some great ideas like making monthly goals instead of New Year's resolutions, or participating in project 365, where she'll try to take a picture daily to document her life.

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Hope you had a great weekend!

Linking up to: Monday Mingle  YOLO Monday

High Five for Friday

dress: old navy   sweater: francesca's    boots: dsw   necklace: wild about jewelry

1. I got this sweater at Francesca's a week or so ago for only $7.

2.  It was definitely a good day to go because I also found this purse for $12.

3.  Last week every day, a girl in my class asked me to wear my fringe boots so we could match.  She was quite excited when I finally wore them Friday.  I'm not sure if matching fashion styles with an eight year old is impressive though.

source

4.  I've got some high hopes for feeling good this weekend and attempting a project like making a sweater with elbow patches.  It's been too long since I've completed any DIY project. 

5. I am ridiculously happy that it is a three day weekend.  We don't have any big plans and I couldn't be happier!

Happy Friday to you!

Yet another reason I love blogging

As if I didn't have enough reasons I love blogging, yesterday gave me a new one.

Blogging lets you be completely validated in your craziness and find out you are far from alone in things.

Thank you for all of your comments and stories on yesterday's post.  Seriously made me feel better about an irrational emotional breakdown.  And it made me feel like I'm justified to some more too.  If you haven't, you should definitely read some of the comments.  I appreciated getting them in my email all day long today.

But I'm pretty sure my favorite thing about blogging is still the people that I have met through it.  And today I have a special lady for you.  If you don't know her already, you need to.  I have been reading Bonnie's blog for awhile, and being a teacher as well, I always enjoy her funny teaching stories like when she took 214 students to a movie or let them perform songs from the movie Les Mis (mind you she is not a music teacher).  But my favorite thing about Bonnie is that she is not afraid to say what is on her mind, like this post or this one, which certainly got a lot of people riled up.  So I'm really excited to introduce you to Bonnie . . .

Why hello there.

The name is Bonnie Blackburn Larsen and writing nonsense is my game.  Sometimes I get in trouble for what I write, but that's just the way the cookie crumbles.  The husband's name is Greg and I've been told I would be a fool for letting the internet Gods know my husband's name because now they can steal our identities and invade our home, GASP!  Therefore, to protect us from cyber devils and because it seems somehow hip I have named him Hubs.  I pride myself on originality.

Don't be fooled by this picture.  I've looked this good exactly once in my life.

If you are still interested in me, (oh this sounds so romantic!) you have a couple of options from here.

Option #1: I've noticed Katie is quite the fashion blogger. She finds deals and looks super styling without sweating a drop.  Well, heck, I can be a fashion blogger too!  Keep reading where I will show you how to look hot in any situation.  Trust me, you're going to want to read up.
Option #2: Visit my blog where you may read all my rambling to your heart's content.  You might wanna check out my Best of Bon page where you can find my favorite posts.

Option #3:  While at my blog, enter yesterday's giveaway- in fact, the biggest giveaway that I have ever held on my blog.  J. Crew, Sephora, Amazon, Starbucks, and Target gift cards.  Honey, you're gonna be rich!

Option #4:  All of the above

(Pick #4!  Pick #4)

Let's dive right in, shall we?

HOW TO LOOK HOT NO MATTER WHAT YOU'RE DOING

BY BONNIE BLACKBURN LARSEN

In the above picture I am playing tennis with Hubs.  My outfit is very stylin as you can tell.

I feel bad for anybody who doesn't look one hundred percent rocking 24/7.  I have the whole fashion thing down pat so I figured it's time to share my knowledge with the blogging world.  You all are clearly in need of an expert.  For Lauren and Lauren, watch out, I'm taking over your reign as cutest fashion blogger ever!

 To copy my above outfit you will need the following:

1.  A pair of ambiguous pants.  Are they long pants?  No... not quite.  Shorts?  No, not that either.  Capris?  Too baggy for that.  WHAT IN SAM'S HILL ARE THEY?  Guess we'll never know which makes them that much cuter!  Remember, the more confused people are by your look, the cuter it is!

(Answer:  They are Hubs' shorts.  And if you think it's pretty messed up that I have the same size of waist as Hubs, you are not alone.)

2. A big, brown, bulky belt.  None of these cute, skinny belts.  No cool colors like blue or orange- you will need just a big brown clunker.  This makes your waist look bigger than normal, which as we all know, is the perfect complement to any look.

3.  A shirt that is too tight for you.  Although you can't see it in this picture, a tight grey T-shirt is the best thing to wear when participating in any physical activity.  It allows for maximum under arm sweat stains that everyone can see when you raise your arms.  Tacos=the new trend in fashion.  Try to keep up, will you?

4.  Neon shoelaces.  The whole outfit should be a very blah, somber color EXCEPT the shoelaces.  Look for a gray or black outfit and then add a bit of neon to really confuse everybody who looks at you.  In my case, I chose neon pink.  Neon green and neon blue are also great.  If you're really daring you can try polka dotted or striped shoelaces to really set you apart from the crowd.

5.  Don't forget the hair barrette clipped to your pocket and the alien looking sunglasses.  These accessories really complete the outfit.  Remember, confusion=cuteness.

There you have it, folks!  How to look like a million bucks no matter what you are up to.  I'm full of stylish advice and wisdom so make sure to visit my blog often to see all my super cute looks!  Next week I might even show you the sweats, flip flops, and bandana that I wear when I wash my car.   Spicy!

Thank you Bonnie for making us laugh! I'm so happy to have you on my blog!

Valentine's Day Decorations

I feel like my title would be a little more appealing if it said Valentine's Day Decor and I almost kept it, but you know how I feel about abbreviations so the long version it is.

Last year was the first time I ever decorated for Valentine's Day thanks to pinterest, and I plan on doing in now each year.

I saw a lot of cute banner ideas on pinterest (like this) and put a few of them together to make this one.  It was really pretty easy and quick.  The only part I don't like is cutting the burlap because it frays a lot! 

First I cut out my banner pieces from burlap.  Then I cut out my hearts and glued them on with a glue gun.  I used my sewing machine to sew the pendents onto a piece of twine.  That is it! 

The other things were pretty easy too, but a little more time consuming.  The vase on the right was a vase that didn't match anything in our house so I cut an old text book into squares and modge podged it to the vase. 

I took a styrofoam ball and glued candy hearts around it and then stuck a dowel rod through the bottom, filled a bucket from the Target dollar spot with sand and stuck it in.  

The red rose ball is a styrofoam ball covered in tissue paper roses:

1. Cut a piece about three to four inches long and fold it in half as you go. 

2. Start twisting your streamer into a little circle to form a rose bud. 

3. Keep twisting until you use all your piece.  Put a little dot of glue to hold it down.  Put a larger circle of glue on your styrofoam ball and place the flower on top. 

4. Keep going until the whole ball is covered. 

I just filled a mason jar with candy hearts and put the flower ball on top.

and the nice thing is I will use all of these each year!

Linking up to:

and Shine on Fridays

The time I cried in Old Navy

dress: francesca's   boots: target  vest: tjmaxx  necklace: kohls

I'd like to say that I have been pretty emotionally stable the majority of this pregnancy so far.  While I have shed some tears they have been at totally appropriate times, more of fear or anxiety during circumstances that happened the first two months.

Minus the one time when I walked into the kitchen to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to find out we had no bread.  Seriously disappointed I moved on to make a cheese quesadilla only to find out we had no cheese.

Tears.  Real tears.  And complete panic as those were the only two things I could think of that wouldn't make me throw up.

I am pretty sure I was way more emotional when I was on all the different drugs and hormones while we were going through our different fertility treatments.  Perhaps the most embarrassing case of irrational emotions happened in Old Navy this summer.

I went to get in line to buy a few things and unintentionally cut someone already in line.  She politely said, "Excuse me, I was here first."  To which I looked at her and started crying.

Crying because I cut her.  Yep. I have no idea what happened, but I couldn't help it.

I didn't even buy my clothes.  Turned around and left.

And on a rare occasion I'm not wearing a thing from Old Navy, on the day I do a post about Old Navy.  Maybe I shouldn't have left before buying those clothes.

So please humor me and tell me what the silliest thing you've cried over, pregnant or not.

Weekend Highlights

dress: old navy  scarf: DIY  boots: kohls

1.  Wearing this outfit and making it to church this weekend.  After the busy holidays and being off my feet it has been too long since we've been.  

2.  A friend of ours is a manager at a nice restaurant and invited us to come eat dinner for free!  It was delicious and we even got dessert: apple bread pudding and ice cream. 

3.  We got cable this weekend and I am a little too excited about it.  I'm mostly excited about being able to watch Guilianna and Bill.  I'd list all the other reality shows I plan on watching, but would fear you will think all I plan on doing now is watching tv.  

 

4.  Right around being 5 weeks pregnant the idea of drinking coffee completely disgusted me.  Which is really sad, since I drank it daily.  I finally had a cup of coffee this weekend and I can't say that it was as good as I thought before, but definitely not disgusting. 

5.  Reading some of my favorite blogs.  Like one of my very favorites Shanna from because Shanna said so.

I'm pretty sure that if I could pick a family to join that I've met through blogging I would pick Shanna's.  Her family is adorable, her two girls are mini fashionistas, following in their mom's footsteps, and her marriage sets a great example.  I'm also going to honestly say that if I had to pick someone's wardrobe to steal or someone to dress me daily I'd pick Shanna.  But besides her adorable family and amazing clothes, my favorite thing about Shanna is that she is sweet, honest and no doubt you will want to be friends with her. 

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Next up is Tara from the Penniless Socialite

Tara is a girl after my own heart.   She is a queen of bargain shopping, which means we already have a lot in common.  She puts together the cutest outfits, like this pattern mixing outfit or putting together this lace skirt and flannel shirt, which I just may be copying this week.  Tara also shares about other random life happenings, like her trips, her cats or what she is loving lately. 

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And last you need to met Nadine from the Back East Blonde.

Isn't her picture adorable?  Both her and her cute puppy?  Nadine's blog is one that I recently discovered and I'm sure glad I did!  Nadine recently moved from California to the east coast and blogs about her life and adventures there.  From one of the cutest puppies I've ever seen to her "anti fairy tale" love story. And who doesn't love reading about embarrassing childhood memories and photos?

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Hope you all had a good weekend!